Comparative performance of Tamron SP 24-70mm f/2.8 Di VC USD / Model A007N

I purchased this lens recently, but am planning to send it back. Experience is below for anyone considering this lens, or wondering if their copy is good or bad. Note: this post does not review the "G2" model of this lens. First informal tests showed up a possible issue. Caveats: Handheld, 1/1000s or higher, high ISO. No, the sign is not straight. Who cares, look at the results! 0 - Uncropped example shot f/2.8 f/3.2 f/3.5 f/4.0 f/4.5 f/5.0 f/5.6 f/6.3 f/7/1 Yes, I know DOF plays a part. But still obviously a possible issue. So, on to more rigorous testing, below. Note: I am aware it is not fair to compare a zoom against primes, a zoom at max zoom vs. a zoom at min zoom. However, these are the lenses I had available. All lenses were shot wide open to make the tests as fair as possible. All at ISO 100, tripod, 5s self-timer delay, Nikon SB-24 flash, lens VR off, lens was refocus...